Saturday, January 2, 2010

A few clues to the body language of rapport ...

We all love meeting someone we just click with!

When we have that feeling we are in rapport, researchers (Boston University Medical School and many others) have filmed people in ‘rapport’ i.e. getting on really well with one another. They noticed that people in rapport unconsciously started to co – ordinate their body movements from hand gestures right down to blinking.

Next time you're out socialising take a second just to observe who's talking to who and their body language. Then note yourself talking to different people, people you know very well and those you've just met. Notice your body movements and eye contact, what feels comfortable and what is the other person doing?

We can encourage rapport or rather build rapport with another person consciously once we know how and have practiced.

So once you've observed others and yourself out and about you will notice people in rapport will have very similar: -

  • Body language - body position, head tilt, leg movements or lack of.
  • Voice qualities – tone, rhythm and pace (the speed of which certain words are said and then whole sentences).
  • Blink rate
  • Facial expressions
  • Breathing patterns

They are mirroring each other whilst in flow; this is worth observing and playing with for example mirroring then not - break rapport by introducing different body language for example crossing legs and arms, what happens?

Be warned this will lead to your 'partner' feeling uncomfortable and they may well move on or change the subject or just look for away of getting away from you!

Be very careful mirroring is not mimicry, be respectful as if it is not done well it will leave the other person feeling odd and uncomfortable. Done very well building rapport leads to a feeling of trust and empathy quickly. Good luck!