Carol works full time and has three children aged 12 to 17, she feels like a single/married woman as her husband travels a lot with his job. She finds her life very stressful saying "every minute is accounted for, it's like walking a tight rope".
Carol had difficulty in sleeping and initially came to me to find ways of reorganising her time so she could switch off, sleep better and manage home and career better. However after our initial discussion it became clear to both of us that at the root of her stress and anxiety was her fear of making decisions. A real fear that affected her work and home life.
The risk of making decisions without her husband or her manager was debilitating because she could be wrong. Now being very thorough Carol had an impressive list of all the wrong decisions she had made to prove to me that she always needed someone to oversee her or guide her.
The fear of making mistakes had resulted in a paralysis in her life not just her career, she also felt it physically in her body. She was very smart at avoiding or delaying situations where major decisions had to be made. Carol was stuck in a rut.
We agreed four coaching meetings of one hour, we would review how things were on our fourth and final meeting. Within the meetings we were able to reframe her mistakes as opportunities for learning and experience. So her mistakes were normalised as part of of her learning process at work and at home.
We also looked at where the fears came from which led to some real understanding of her self and her resulting behaviour. In small and deliberate steps she began to take risks and started to trust herself more and more and this built on her new found confidence.
Four meetings was just right for Carol when we met three months later her confidence and trust in herself had really grown. She was sleeping a lot better and she looked very different her body language had radically changed telling me here was a confident and relaxed woman. When asked about making decisions she put quite simply - "its part of the course of daily life not like the huge mountains I had climb before our meetings, that was an exhausting way to live".
Carol is not her real name and permission has been given to publish this scenario from the original client (11/09).
No comments:
Post a Comment